CPAH SUPPORTING CHARACTERS
MICK FIERCE (As voiced by MIKE HULL) -Legendary super spy Mick Fierce has been dealing with the super-action hero community since his early days as a grunt during World War II. After stealing an experimental super soldier serum from the Nazis, Fierce was injected with the formula alongside his pal American Shield. The now infamous SSS formula grants the two men enhanced problem solving, strength, and agility. The ageless, one-eyed powerhouse has led the secret espionage agency W.E.I.R.D. (World Enforcement of International Rare Deformities) for decades and has a combative history with Captain Punishment.
SPECIAL AGENT LARRY/LARA LARDMAN (As voiced by EMILY O'CONNOR) -For all of his socially awkward problems, Special Agent Larry Lardman is still one of the best agents at W.E.I.R.D. Having grown up idolizing Captain Punishment and Mick Fierce, Lardman rose quickly through the ranks of the covert organization all the while disguised as a man. After Special Agent Lardman was assigned as the W.E.I.R.D. liaison to the ‘Townhouse Home For Needies With Powers & Shit’, her true self was revealed as LARA LARDMAN by the villainous Giggler.
W.E.I.R.D. (The World Enforcement of International Rare Deformities) -The origins of this espionage group will always be shrouded in mystery. What is known, is that whenever something is too ‘out of the ordinary’ for the traditional authorities, this team led by Mick Fierce is called in to investigate. With their unlimited resources and latest high tech equipment this organization has tracked super powered phenomenon for years.
ANOMALIES -Anomalies refers to the term most commonly used to describe human beings with special abilities (flight, super-speed, laser-eye beams, etc.). The term was coined by anomaly civil rights leader Chuck L. Zulbrowski (a.k.a. Professor Z) and is derived from the 'A-Gene’, which is the genetic mutation that enables certain humans to develop extraordinary powers. Most Anomalies discover their abilities during the ages of 5 to 15 but some have been known to repress their powers until young adulthood.
TED SNELPS (As voiced by JASON BAILEY) -Once a small time Baptist minister for a church in Forgetsville, Kansas, Ted Snelps discovers the technology needed to convert people into believers of his awful prejudice beliefs. As time went on and his power got stronger Snelps acquires enough Bigot Zombie followers to start his hate group the West Bigot Christ Disciples. With Skagg City in his sights, this supremacist preacher would love nothing more than to turn Captain Punishment’s hometown into his warped vision of the perfect world.
ANN COULTER SNATCH BATS (As voiced by SFX) –The Ann Coulter Snatch Bat is a winged 'bat-like' creature with fangs, talons, and a long spiked tale. These horrific bloodthirsty creatures are birthed from conservative political commentator Ann Coulter ‘s horrific vagina. Known to wreak havoc wherever they go, they can usually be found near self-righteous hate mongers waiting to feed off unsuspecting victims.
THE GIGGLER (As voiced by MAC WELCH) -The Clown Prince of perverts has been a thorn in Captain Punishment’s side since his very conception. His antics have always been chaotic and without reason which keeps the Captain and Skagg City on their toes. His white skin and bright red hair make him look like a deranged ‘Bozo the clown’ from hell. Believing that Captain Punishment is the 'Ying' to his 'Yang' the Giggler will always be around to interfere in the hero's plans. While Captain Punishment was in exile, the Giggler also disappeared and his current whereabouts are unknown. Whether this madman will surface now that the Captain has returned, remains to be seen.
IRIS INKSLINGER (As voiced by BRENDA WELCH) - Never one to take 'NO COMMENT' for an answer CNT Star reporter Iris Inkslinger is the best newsperson in the business. For years she has been the investigative street beat reporter for Central News Telecommunication and has won six Pulitzers for her hard hitting journalism. Under the careful eye of station manager Perry Pasty this relentless newsy doesn't let anything or anyone stand in her way of a good story.
THE BARGAIN HUNTRESS (As voiced by BRENDA WELCH) - What she lacks in appearance and personal hygiene, she more than makes up for in hording and information. Never straying far from her mobile rascal the Bargain Huntress is the one person all people in the super-action-hero-biz go to for supplies. Be they hero or villain this obese, computer hacking know-it-all can always find them what they want.
PROFESSOR Z (As voiced by MICHAEL HAGGINS) – Chuck L. Zulbrowski always knew he was different and being a telekinetic didn’t help. After spending his youth studying human biology, anatomy, and genetics, Professor Z eventually discovered the ‘A-Gene’ or the mutation that causes some human beings to become ANOMALIES. Setting out to fund more people like himself Professor Z founded the Zulbrowski Home For Wayward-Yet Gifted Boys and Unfortunately Girls, an exclusive prep school to help those outside the norm. Coining the term ‘anomaly’ Zulbrowski was successful at helping hundreds of young people and even formed his own super team ‘The Z-Mortals’ who were very successful crime fighters before they disbanded after his sudden disappearance.
DR. INTENSE (As voiced by MICHAEL HORTON) –Insignificant Snide, a red skinned depressed being, stumbled on the location of ‘The Wormhole’ an exclusive nightclub that exists in a realm between all time and space. Snide spent several years working as bus boy, disguising his super intelligence, learning all he could from the geniuses known to frequent this fantastic wonderland. After years of torment from the patrons, Snide finally succumbed to his darker side and became the sinister Dr. Intense, the smartest man alive! Believing the Wormhole’s best-kept secrets are too exclusive for someone of Punishment’s caliber, Intense has made it his personal mission to destroy the hero.
MAGISTRATE MELONCHOLY (As voiced by KEVIN VOSS) – When the super natural step out of line in Skagg City they answer to one man and one man only, the mountainous Magistrate ‘Moe’ Melancholy. This tough as nails, no nonsense judge travels all over the city with his ‘digital courtroom’ and SCPD issued hand cannon administering justice to all those who need it.
OPERATION CATWALK FEATURING TIM DERRINGER (As voiced by JEREMIAH JURKIEWICZ) & HEIDI COONT (As voiced by SEVANS MARTINEZ) -Operation Catwalk, the most popular design show in the history of television has a long sordid past with Captain Punishment. Like all formulaic elimination shows, this incarnation is hosted by A-sexual fashion guru Tim Derringer and his sweet but clueless model co-host Heidi Coont. As these two suck Captain Punishment into their eccentric world, his future is forever altered.
ABEL CARRINGTON (As voiced by RJ BATLLE) –Abel Carrington is your typical horny teenage boy until one day he accidently blows up his home. Discovering very painfully his new combustible abilities Abel seeks the help of Captain Punishment. But when the boy suddenly blows up the Captain’s rundown shanty he may not find the warmest welcome.
THE TOWNHOUSE HOME FOR NEEDIES WITH POWERS & SHIT –Formerly known as the Zulbrowski Home For Wayward-Yet Gifted Boys and Unfortunately Girls, this prestigious prep school for ‘Anomalies’ is located at the massive Zulbrowski Mansion in the Salem Center of Skaggchester County. Once a vibrant institution for super powered young people, the school is now being rebuilt from ruins as Punishment is forced to reopen its doors.
SOUR MAN THE BUGGERER (As voiced by MAC WELCH) -Years ago in the Skagga-Palation Mountains a feud was born between The Captain and hillbilly ‘Shiner’ magic man Sour Man The Buggerer. For years these two foes have battled with Captain Punishment as the constant victor. But never count out the Buggerer for long, because he always has another hornswoggle up his sleeve.
ICKLEE BARNHUM (As voiced by RJ BATLLE) -The story of the gullible little person known as Icklee Barnum is a sad one. Orphaned young, this mage traveled the world in search of the mystical arts. Even though he may have found himself under the disturbed tutelage of Sour Man The Buggerer, Icklee still hopes better days lie ahead.
SWIFT WINDTHROP (As voiced by DANIELLE HERNANDEZ) - When teenage super-speedster Swift Windthrop zipped into Punishment’s life, our hero found it an uncomfortable transition. However as Swift hangs around using his ‘flashy’ abilities to assist our hero, the fast-talking lovesick Casanova becomes a vital part of Punishment’s team. Villains beware of the terrifying turbo power of Lickety-Split!
ALACASSANDRA ZACETTI (As voiced by SEVANS MARTINEZ) -Nobody knows magical show business like the mystical Zacetti family. The youngest in a very prestigious and historic lineage, Alacassandra Zacetti is the sorceress with the best show on the Skagg City Strip. When hip-hop, ghosts, wicked wizards, or unwanted spirits become a menace, the beautiful show-stopping enchantress can conjure up one hell of an opposition. But will her secret connections to Sour Man The Buggerer be her undoing…
THE QUERY (As voiced by JASON BAILEY) -Ed-Gar Charade is not a very nice man. The egotistical designer believes that no person alive is as creative or brilliant as he is. So when he is finally pushed to his breaking point, he takes on the flamboyant persona of The Query. Armed with his never-ending supply of useless conundrums and his Brain Blammer 360 super computer, this over dramatic maniac pushes Punishment to the brink. Can the Captain outsmart The Query before Skagg City is forced to listen to more lame puzzles?
ERNESTO ROBINSON (As voiced by JEREMIAH JURKIEWICZ) -Imagine having the ability to teleport yourself to any location throughout history. Would you find it enjoyable? Well ERNESTO ROBINSON did not. In fact it scared the hell out of him. When this Cuban designer learns of this new anomaly ability, he uses it to conquer the world of fashion. However with his newfound fame Ernesto soon learns that a madman has targeted him for death.
COMMISSIONER HARDON (As voiced by GRANT COOPER) -Jimmy B. Hardon has always wanted to be the super-action hero The Honky Hunter but never could break into the big time. Settling for the thankless position of Police Commissioner of Skagg City, Hardon has grown bitter over the years. Blaming Captain Punishment for his failures, he is enraged to learn of CP’s recent return to the limelight. Can these two macho powerhouses put their differences aside and save Skagg City from doom?
MISSY & SISSY MCREEDY (As voiced by SAMANTHA BERGES) - Two of the more annoying students at Captain Punishment’s school for anomalies are sisters Missy (Ember) & Sissy (Crystal) McReedy who cannot seem to get along. Missy with her ability to create fire is at constant odds with her ice-producing twin Sissy. If these two cannot find a way to co-exist it can only mean disaster for Punishment and his school.
EUGENECYBORGAWITZ (As Voiced by MIKE HORTON) Eugene Cyborgawitz may be the smartest person at The Townhouse Home For Needies With Powers N’ Shit, just ask him. Constantly thrown into dangerous scenarios by The Captain, the uber nerd’s advanced manipulation of technology is a nice asset to have. After mind melding with the academy’s operating system it is unclear whether Eugene will ever be the same.
ARTHUR TYNIDUS aka THE ATLANTEAN (As voiced by ZACH HELD) Former King of the ancient hidden city of ATLANTEA, Arthur was betrayed by his queen SLUT-TAYA. Driven from his home Tynidus has taken up refuge at The Townhouse Home For Needies With Powers N’ Shit. Arthur is learning to how to adapt to this new world while utilizing his power over water to help out around the school.
GRANLOA BIRKINSTOCK aka EVERGREEN (As voiced by DANA MORGAN) A new teaching addition to the Botany wing Miss Birkinstockis a voice of peace and understanding. This green thumb isn’t afraid to protect everything Mother Nature has to offer. Plus her “Birkinstock Bowie-Wowie” made top five national ranking in “Times R High” Magazine.
HOLIDAY HATE HOLLIGANS – THE EASTER BUNNY (As voiced by JESUS MARTINEZ), GROUND HOG PUNXSUTAWNEY PHIL (As voiced by MAC WELCH), HEMI ROBINSON (As voiced by AMY HUGHEY) all join forces to destroy Santa Clause and the holiday spirit. On Christmas Eve Captain Punishment and Mick Fierce battle this motley crew and their mastermind CUPID (As voiced by RJ BATLLE) in a free-for-all at the North Pole.
NED CRUZ (As voiced by JASON BAILEY) –Ned Cruz loves America! In fact he loves America so much, he believes he is the only man that can restore our fallen country to its former glory. With secret family ties to Nazi madman Baron Von Burntnoggin, Cruz is ready to take over the presidency, and soon the world.
AMERICAN SHIELD (As voiced by ALI SATTAR) -As World War II begins, the United States soon learns the Nazis’ plan for an experimental super soldier serum. After some quick espionage tricks by Mick Fierce, the formula is stolen and given to nerdy weakling Sam Rogers as well as Fierce himself. The two men find themselves with enhanced abilities because of it. American Shield and Fierce fought the Nazis together until American Shield was killed saving Mick’s life. To this day his star-spangled legend lives on inspiring new generations of super-action heroes, some even say he still makes an appearance every 4th of July.
BARON VON BURNTNOGGIN (As voiced by KEVIN VOSS) -Not much is known of Baron Von Burntnoggin before his unfortunate accident with a knock off super soldier serum. All we know is that the man is pure evil and once the ‘bootleg’ formula burned his head into a grotesque living ashtray, all decency melted away with his flesh. Always thwarted by American Shield, this hate filled monster of the Nazi party tries anything and everything to get the upper hand.
THE FUR BURGLAR (As voiced by BRENDA WELCH) -She is the best thief in the world, arguably the universe. Only a handful of people know how to get in contact with her and her unique ‘cat-burglar’ skills come at a price… but it’s money well spent. Armed with razor sharp claws, a sleek instant camouflage costume, and whip-like tail… this femme fatale slips through any sticky situation. Once she enters Punishment’s life, our hero finds himself feeling woozy on his insides.
MAYOR MICHAEL J. GLOOMINSTEEN (As voiced by JEREMIAH JURKIEWICZ) –Mayor Gloominsteen wants you to be healthy and he will stop at nothing to make sure of it. This arrogant, loud-mouthed, billionaire turned politician wants everyone to be FINE and CONTENT…LIKE PEAS IN A POD. Nothing is ever what it seems when it comes to Mayor Gloominsteen and our sugar-loving hero Captain Punishment.